A Tangle
breathes in, folds body in ½
breathes out, body shatters
shallow breaths, gathers pieces
Body Star
outer body
body star, out of space
out-of-body
body star, out of space
out-of-body
body star, outer space
Home
an entire body of water
what is underneath
the surface taut
underlay
current
feels like home
No Joy
all these things
and there is no joy
happiness is hanging
on a thread
bound to you
it’s crushing without meds
it’s all you
all of you exposed
a fragile game
what do we believe in
a god or ourselves
Fuel
old feelings, old being
old makes new,
expectations, body and brain
(exercises)
work
work-around
bull-shaped
femme/masculine
whatever it takes
take take take
aching!
guilt, fermenting
sour/bitter/sweet–and tender
weight (all of it!)
weight of it all
4.
construct me
you’ve got to love me
I love everything you hate
Read Time
ripping through, my mother is asleep
she doesn’t hear me when I talk
I fade off mid-sentence
what’s the point cold tiles
I should’ve known how to
read time
On Drawing
from one to the next–
it’s so easy to move on,
start over (clean slate)
working something until you give up
turn the page
clean slate
try again and again
would it benefit me to stick
to the page longer before
I turn to the next
work it out, push though
when I lose confidence in
the forms I move on
Hate
0:00 nothing matters
tape measure (click click click)
an inch for every sorrow
I want to be the Sunlight
in your day I am darkness
I keep coming back to what
hurt me
6.
Making something out of nothing
Stone men on the rock river
I used to make it day-to-day
Lobster Throne
Pain, anxiety is no sleep
Sun is healing
it takes and it takes–photosynthesis
baking–burnt, they say
like a lobster. claws tied
shut, pinch pinch I am
defenseless a man with a
broken foot does a cannonball
I sulk becoming
one with the wooden chair
on the throne
the lobster throne, I sit
regal with no power
Gone Fishing
it is one line it is
two lines
reel it in I plant my feet
the whole world resisting
you can’t control me but
you can swim with me
it tells me
I let go, give me
some slack and I
will do the same
it tells me
rain drops fall
fish jump on their
own time
I inhale, exhale
I begin to swim
Prize Horse
I clench my jaw
I fall off the back
of the horse
without my pride
7.
it’s all catching up to me
holding myself up
keeping myself together
holding myself up
keeping myself together
its all catching up to me
8.
what tortures me
in sweetness comes suffering
The Bones and the Meat
The space trapped between
the bones and the meat and the
being within it all all
bound up–into one.
form over and over, organic
the space it takes up, trapped.
but rather bold. It sits, it functions.
a bowl, a plate of food.
gathered, mushed, sprawled on a plate.
a desire, consumed. Gluttonous
the space it takes up in our bodies, our forms
a part of that empty space trapped
between the bones and the meat and the being
within it all––all bound up.
A Backwards Movement–
something up and out
pushing, resisting,
(caught) guarding
giving in, inward
(tripping) self
falling–a backwards
movement of some sort
in and out, being taken
(advantage of)
losing yourself
guarding
–all tripped up and out
Pearl
a pearl in a heap of a mess
crowded big spaces/gaps
honeydew, honey do
(deflecting)
I’m hysterical–overjoy gasping
a heap
Dough
thinking of food for the most part
full → filled up
inhale
exhale
chew, chew
bowl
cup stomach
plate
inside, digest → sit with it
(outside) flesh
of a fruit, of a human
skin, feeling, (feelings)
dough, folding
(filling up)
Being Not Doing
Inward order
tempering
continual unfolding
taut
erect but not still
mind that clings to nothing
relax into not knowing
what is your way?
the mountain justs sits
(through it all)
can you identify not
only with the surface
but with the entire body as well
so you can become identify
with stillness below surface
in touch
dance with the mind